Grief Exhaustion: Why Does Grief Make You Tired?

Unfortunately, loss is a part of life. It can be challenging to cope with and leave you in a grief fog that affects your mental and physical well-being and well as your day to day. 

Learning about it and understanding the healing process can help you be more forgiving with yourself and guide you through it.

What Is Grief Exhaustion?

Many people consider grief to be a response to the death of a loved one, but we grieve so much more than that. Grief is an emotional response to loss of any kind. Both real or perceived loss can trigger the response.

The loss of a job, a miscarriage, a break up, losing a sentimental item, or big life changes like moving can all cause grief.

Emotions are not always easy to deal with and having intense ones can be incredibly draining. Grief is a complex emotion that can be mentally and physically taxing. The profound sadness and range of emotions experienced during the different stages of grief can lead to fatigue and exhaustion.

Why Does Grief Make You Tired?

The mind and body are closely connected and the grief process is a good example of that. The mental and emotional toll of grief can wreak havoc on a person’s mental and someone’s physical wellbeing. 

Stress

The emotions and the physical responses of grief can certainly make you tired. Grief is a type of emotional stress. Stress activates the nervous system and releases stress hormones that keep your body in “go-mode.” Chronic or prolonged stress can contribute to physical exhaustion. 

Hypervigilance

When someone is processing a loss, they may be more irritable than normal. Situations that trigger a grief response are can be traumatic. When you’re still in the throes of the grieving process, you may be on high alert and ready to activate your fight, flight or freeze response at a moment’s notice. Remaining in this hyper-vigilant state is an exhausting endeavor. 

Hyper Independence

Another thing loss and grief can do is push people to become overly independent. If they have lost a person or a thing they used to rely on, they may avoid asking or accepting help again. Feeling alone and doing everything yourself will quickly drain your energy levels.

Sleep Disruptions

Another thing that can make people feel tired is that grief can literally disrupt your sleep patterns. It can cause insomnia, make it difficult for people to stay asleep, or sleep too much. It can quickly become a vicious cycle of no sleep or waking up still tired that leads to fatigue and exhaustion.

Grief Exhaustion Symptoms 

Everybody’s grieving process is unique. How they react to loss and how long their grief lasts is unique to that person and the kind of loss they experienced. 

Mental and Emotional Symptoms

Grief and exhaustion on their own illicit intense emotions. Grief exhaustion doubly so. These overwhelming feelings have cognitive effects as well:

• Poor focus and difficulty making decisions
• Emotional exhaustion, fatigue, or numbness
• Anxiety 
• Depression 
• Loss of interest in hobbies, daily tasks, or social activities
• Loss of identity 
• Confusion of what their roles and responsibilities are now
• Prolonged grief disorder (PGD)
• PTSD

Processing your loss and navigating your emotions expends energy, leaving you tired and fatigued. 

Physical Symptoms

Grief can be stored in the body and the negative emotions can have a serious impact on your physical health. Grief exhaustion can cause: 

• Muscle tension
• Fatigue 
• Sleep disturbances
• Headaches
• Digestive issues
• Inflammation 
• A weakened immune system
• Change in eating patterns
• Lowered libido 

Grief can manifest physically and lead to overall discomfort and poor health. It can exacerbate prior health issues or lead to new ones by leaving you vulnerable and exhausted.

Working Through Grief Exhaustion 

Working through grief exhaustion is a gradual process that takes time, patience, and grace. It is a difficult season of life. How you cope is your own journey, but there are some strategies to help.

Let Yourself Feel

Grief comes with painful emotions that can come and go without warning, let yourself feel them. It may be tempting to avoid these feelings, but the only way out is through. The emotions you feel from your loss are not going to go away if you push them down. Take time to mourn and grieve the way you need to.

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, or DBT, is one type of therapy that helps clients regulate emotions and be present with them. It’s one of many programs at Sequoia Behavioral Health that we use to guide our clients through their intense feelings. Reach out today to learn more.

Time and rest but if your lack of motivation is getting in the way of your daily life, create a routine to give yourself some structure and purpose. Set small and realistic goals to accomplish.

Self-Care

While you’re grieving, self-care is especially important. Be kind to yourself and take the time to do things that promote your well-being. Grief can take a huge toll on your mental and physical health and it is important to prioritize things that keep you healthy and happy during this time.

Practice self-care for your physical wellbeing by prioritizing rest and sleep, eating a healthy diet, and maintaining some level of physical activity. Self-care for your mental wellbeing can include things like yoga, journaling, or breathing exercises to help reduce anxiety. 

Don’t forget that it is okay to rest and take breaks. Don't overdo or try to push yourself too hard and listen to your mind and body when it is telling you to rest. If you need to spend extra time in bed one day, that’s okay.

Seek Support

You should not have to go through your grieving process alone. You may want to retreat and isolate yourself in this challenging time, but talking about your grief and maintaining contact with others will help you recover faster. Talking to people close to you can help you work through your feelings and begin to heal.

Isolation can amplify your grief exhaustion. Consider joining a support group so that you can be surrounded by people going through similar healing journeys.

Individual therapy with a mental health professional can help and is sometimes necessary to work through these feelings of grief. Talk therapy, neurotherapy, and sometimes medications can help people get through this trying time.

At sequoia Behavioral Health, we know the impact loss and grief exhaustion can make on a person. Our inpatient and outpatient treatment programs include grief therapy, tailored to the needs and experiences of each client.

One Step at a Time with SBH

Working through grief is a unique and individualized experience. There is no right or wrong way to do it, no timeline, and no straight path to get there. Grief comes and goes in waves and physical and mental exhaustion is often a part of the battle.

With time, it will get better, but in the meantime, if you need help coping with your grief exhaustion, reach out to Sequoia Behavioral Health.