How to Set Boundaries in Recovery
Setting boundaries is an important part of any healthy relationship, whether it’s between friends, family, or a significant other. That being said, striking a balance between looking out for your own needs and being present in your relationships isn’t always easy.
Setting boundaries can be particularly difficult during addiction recovery. This is because recovery is an especially vulnerable time where you require more support than usual. The additional need for support can blur the lines between receiving the appropriate help and maintaining your own independence.
However, it’s possible to strike the right balance—you can maintain your independence while still giving and receiving the support you need.
Why Are Boundaries Important?
Personal boundaries are important because they prevent you from overextending yourself, and they allow you to prioritize your own personal needs. When you spread yourself too thin, it can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and even long-lasting resentment towards your loved ones.
Although it may seem selfish, setting personal boundaries will actually strengthen your relationships. Your physical, emotional, and mental health are important, and they should be protected. By maintaining your boundaries, you can establish a relationship that is built upon mutual trust and respect.
Why Are Boundaries Important During Recovery?
Establishing boundaries while you recover from addiction can provide you with an opportunity for personal growth and self-reflection. During recovery, it’s important to develop skills like self-reliance and self-discipline. These skills are much harder to work on without setting personal boundaries.
Setting boundaries will also help you reduce any outside influence that could be disruptive to your recovery process. By setting personal boundaries, you can protect yourself from manipulation tactics that could compromise your sobriety or prevent you from achieving personal growth.
Read our related article to learn how to repair relationships in recovery.
Safeguarding Your Wellbeing—How to Set Boundaries
Personal boundaries are often misunderstood. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean walling yourself off from others or refusing to accept and give support. Instead, personal boundaries should be used to help you identify and focus on your own personal needs, rather than dismissing your needs to accommodate others.
To put it simply, setting boundaries means establishing rules within your relationships to protect your own wellbeing. While it’s important to be open to giving and receiving support, setting boundaries will prevent you from sacrificing your own wellbeing and spreading yourself too thin.
Examples of Setting Boundaries
When setting healthy boundaries, the focus should be on maintaining mutual respect between you and those around you. Maintaining respect comes in many forms, as everyone deserves the basic rights to physical, emotional, and internal boundaries.
Physical boundaries are the easiest to recognize, and they can include:
- Maintaining personal space
- Saying no to unwanted physical touch
- Exclusive access to personal belongings
- Reasonable right to privacy
- Reasonable right to personal time
Emotional and internal boundaries are harder to recognize, but they are equally important.
Emotional boundaries can include taking responsibility for your feelings and setting reasonable expectations within your relationships. Internal boundaries are boundaries that you set for yourself, and they can include holding yourself accountable for your actions and practicing self-discipline.
Read our related article to discover what life is like after addiction.
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Examples of Setting Boundaries in Recovery
Setting boundaries in recovery looks similar to setting boundaries outside of recovery. However, there are some specific boundaries that are unique to the recovery process.
For example, some common physical boundaries that can help facilitate the recovery process include:
- Keeping a private recovery journal
- Removing triggers from your surroundings
- Dedicating time for self-care
Emotional boundaries in recovery can include avoiding people who may manipulate you and only sharing your feelings with people you trust. Internal boundaries are also important during recovery, and they can include gaining self-awareness of your behaviors and sticking with your plan for recovery.
Creating Room to Grow—Setting Boundaries in Recovery
Although it can be tricky to navigate at first, setting healthy boundaries will strengthen your relationships and help you grow as a person in a profound way. To ensure you set healthy boundaries, there are five key steps you should follow:
- Understand your needs: Identifying what you need to ensure recovery and self-growth can help you determine where to set boundaries with those around you.
- Communicate your needs: You should communicate your needs with your loved ones clearly and frequently, especially when your boundaries aren’t being respected.
- Follow-through on your intentions: It’s important to enforce your boundaries and create distance with people who won’t respect them.
- Be consistent: Continually reinforce your boundaries and be consistent with clear and effective communication.
- Redefine your boundaries as needed: Your needs, expectations, and relationships are constantly evolving, so adjust your boundaries accordingly.
As you are setting boundaries, it is important to identify when your boundaries become unhealthy for you and your relationships. If your boundaries become detrimental to your self-growth or if they become harmful to your loved ones, then they are likely unhealthy boundaries.
Read our related article to discover how to repair relationships after addiction.
Challenges of Setting Boundaries in Recovery
Setting and enforcing boundaries for the first time can be difficult for anyone, but this especially true for those in recovery. Some of the challenges that you may face while setting boundaries in recovery include:
- Feelings of guilt
- External pressure from negative influences
- Internal pressure to dissolve boundaries
- Having to redefine relationships
- Having to create distance between yourself and others
Setting and enforcing healthy boundaries can be a big change for you and the people around you. However, maintaining consistency with your intentions can provide you with the room you need to achieve personal growth and an effective recovery.
Sequoia Behavioral Health: Helping You Achieve a Lasting Recovery
At Sequoia Behavioral Health, we are committed to supporting you during every step of your recovery process. From personalized individual therapy to supportive group therapy, our team of mental health professionals can teach you the skills needed to ensure personal growth and a successful recovery.
If you or a loved one could benefit from professional addiction recovery services, reach out to one of our mental health experts today.
