How to Combat Negative Self-Talk: 5 Things You Can Do
Many of us have a voice in our head that keeps us in check. It lets us know of our shortcomings, and it can serve as a powerful motivator for improvement. That being said, there’s a fine line between being self-aware of our shortcomings and being overly critical of ourselves.
If you feel like you’re constantly second guessing yourself or you can’t do anything right, then you’re likely experiencing negative self-talk. Negative self-talk may seem like it’s helping you become a better you, but in reality, it’s doing the opposite.
Let’s take a look at what negative self-talk is, how it’s harmful, and how you can overcome it.
What is Negative Self-Talk? Definition, Examples, and Effects
Negative self-talk is a critical inner voice that points out all of the negative aspects of yourself. It makes people see themselves through a distorted lens, emphasizing their failures, inadequacies, and flaws. Most of the time, these internal messages aren’t grounded in reality, and they often overlook any positive aspects and qualities that someone has.
Negative self-talk can stem from many different sources. If a child is frequently criticized by their parents, then they’re likely to carry on similar habits into adult life. Many traumatized individuals will use negative self-talk as a defense mechanism, blaming themselves for their experienced trauma.
Other times, negative self-talk comes from perfectionism, where individuals can’t meet the impossible standards that they set for themselves.
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Examples of Negative Self-Talk
Although negative self-talk varies from person to person, there are some commonalities amongst the internal messages that people experience. These internal messages put a focus on self-criticism, perfectionism, and worst-case scenarios.
Some common examples of negative self-talk include thoughts like:
- I can’t do anything right
- I’m going to fail, so I shouldn’t even try
- I’ll never be happy
- I’ll never be good enough
- Everyone else is more successful than me
- Nobody likes me
Negative self-talk overlooks any successes, personal strengths, or positive outcomes. Instead, it focuses on failures, personal weaknesses, or anything that could go wrong.
Read our related article to discover how to deal with feeling like a failure.
Effects of Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk reframes someone’s perceptions of themselves and the world around them. It can lead to several long-term effects, including:
- Damaged self-esteem
- Eroded confidence
- Pessimistic outlooks
- Isolation
- Self-fulfilling failures
Negative self-talk can also worsen someone’s mental health. This is especially true if someone frequently suffers from anxiety or depression.
Depression and Negative Self-Talk
Depression and negative self-talk are closely intertwined. They often fuel each other, perpetuating feelings of hopelessness, lowered self-worth, and decreased motivation.
Certain characteristics of depression, like black and white thinking, pessimistic views, and overgeneralizations, increase the likelihood of negative self-talk. In return, negative self-talk reinforces these misguided assumptions by providing self-criticisms as evidence.
Read our related article to discover the signs of passive suicidal ideation.
How to Combat Negative Self-Talk: 5 Strategies to Stop Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk is often deeply ingrained in our thoughts and behaviors. That being said, there are several techniques for overcoming it, and they include:
- Identify negative self-talk
- Use positive affirmations
- Stop comparing yourself to others
- Practice mindfulness and gratitude
- Seek professional help
Let’s take a look at these strategies in detail to determine how they can help you combat negative self-talk.
1. Identify Negative Self-Talk
The first step in overcoming negative self-talk is to be aware of when it happens. Negative self-talk is often an automatic response, and we quickly accept it as the truth. Instead, you should slow down, acknowledge these negative thoughts, and recognize that they are harmful.
An important part of identifying negative self-talk is understanding what triggers them. Certain events, situations, and people can trigger negative thoughts. By understanding where these thoughts come from, it will be easier to reframe your thought patterns.
2. Use Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are encouraging statements that help you develop healthier thought patterns. Some positive affirmations that many people find helpful include:
- I am confident
- I am worthy of love and friendship
- I am enough
- I am proud of myself
- I am allowed to feel happy
Positive affirmations create a healthier way of looking at yourself and the world around you. When you feel negative self-talk creeping in, you should counteract them with positive affirmations and remind yourself of your strengths.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Everybody has a unique set of strengths, weaknesses, advantages, and challenges. When we compare ourselves to others, we usually only focus on what they have that we don’t. Instead, you should only focus on your own journey and the progress that you’ve made along the way.
Social media can play a large role in the development of negative self-talk. When people post on social media, they only show off what they want you to see. This makes it easy to assume that their life is perfect, and yours is not. If you’re struggling with negative self-thoughts, you should limit your exposure to social media and “influencers”.
4. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
Mindfulness is the state of being aware of your thoughts in the present moment. When you notice your negative thoughts as an observer, it’s easier to let them pass without getting caught up in them.
Practicing gratitude involves turning your thoughts away from negativity, and towards something you appreciate. When you turn your attention towards something you're grateful for, even if it’s something small, you can reverse the direction of your negative thought patterns.
Read our related article on how to be grounded and achieve mindfulness.
5. Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, negative self-talk can be a persistent issue that requires expert help. Mental health professionals can help you identify and challenge your negative self-talk patterns. They have the experience, tools, and resources to help you achieve mental wellness and positive thinking.
Sequoia Behavioral Health – Helping You Overcome Negative Self-Talk
At Sequoia Behavioral Health, we can help you identify your negative thought patterns and teach you how to replace them with positive ones. We offer a variety of mental health treatment modalities that can guide you towards mental wellness and a healthier way of thinking, including strength-based therapy, which emphasizes a person’s strengths and merits to achieve their goals.
If you or a loved one is suffering from depression or persistent negative thoughts, reach out to one of our mental health experts today.
