Navigating Toxic Relationships During and After Recovery

Relationships have a profound effect on people. Spending time with a friend who is caring and positive is like a refreshing drink. 

Spending time with a negative and self-absorbed person has a draining effect that can leave people feeling tired and bad. Toxic relationships are draining and they are hard to navigate, especially when involving family.

In this article we’ll talk about the following:

• What toxic relationships look like
• How toxic relationships can affect recovery
• Building healthy relationships in recovery
• Building relationships after inpatient treatment

What do Toxic Relationships Look Like?

Toxic relationships are one-sided relationships that cause distress or harm and are defined by manipulation, disrespect, and little to no support. This is often talked about in the context of romantic relationships, but any relationship can be considered toxic.

Characteristics of a toxic relationship include:

• Harmful dynamics
• Gaslighting
• Extreme Negativity
• Trauma bonding
• Peer pressure

Relationships that are toxic are usually controlled by a toxic person. These people only take from relationships and leave their friends or partners feeling used and manipulated.

How to Identify a Toxic Person

Within a toxic relationship, there is usually one person who is making the relationship toxic. They’re the ones doing the manipulation, showing disrespect, and taking the energy from the other.

Toxic people don’t have a specific look or even attitude. However, the best way to identify a toxic person is to consider how the person makes you feel. The warning signs that someone is toxic include:

• You‘ve been gaslighted
• You feel they’ve manipulated you
• You never feel fully comfortable around them
• They make you feel bad about yourself
• They’ve harmed you yet refuse to apologize 

There are ways to identify a toxic person beyond your personal feelings. There are personality traits that are closely related to toxic people.

• They’re inconsistent
• They crave attention at all times
• High levels of jealousy and an inability to feel happy for others
• Disrespectful of boundaries 
• Rarely if ever take accountability for their actions

Being in relation with a toxic individual can likely lead to psychological issues, especially if that person is a close relative or partner.

Can A Toxic Relationship Affect Recovery?

Being trapped in a toxic relationship can absolutely affect mental health recovery. The manipulation and abuse of toxic relationships can act as triggers for emotional distress and lead to relapse.

While in a toxic relationship, you’ll be held back and your personal growth could be hindered. The stress and negativity produced by a toxic relationship will negatively impact mental health recovery.

How to Get Rid of a Toxic Person

Toxic relationships can harm you by causing mental distress and emotional abuse. Once you have identified that toxic relationship, it’s recommended to cut the person out of your life. This is especially true of people who don’t support your mental health recovery.

Cutting out a toxic person is not an easy task, and it is often painful. Here are some tips to eliminate toxic people from your life:

1. Set boundaries: This might seem useless as toxic people don’t typically respect boundaries. However, communicating boundaries and consequences may help.
2. Uphold consequences: If they cross a boundary, you need to be firm and follow up with the consequences.
3. Spend more time with positive people: The negativity experienced in a toxic relationship can be all-consuming. Spend time with positive friends or family that remind you of what’s good.
4. Prioritize yourself: Despite what a toxic person might claim, prioritizing yourself is not selfish. If you’re in a relationship of any kind that’s causing personal harm, it is not selfish to get out of it.
5. Don’t get drawn in: Toxic people typically have something new to complain about or a story to share. Don’t get sucked into their negativity. A good strategy here is to acknowledge their feelings, but don’t respond with emotion.
6. Cut them off: Not reacting with emotion and not feeding into a toxic person might eventually cause them to move on. However, you might need to take extra steps to cut them out completely.

Bringing an end to a toxic relationship will take time. If the relationship you’re in is abusive you can get local law enforcement involved or file for a restraining order. 

Building Healthy Relationships in Recovery

Toxic relationships will hinder your recovery process, but healthy and supportive relationships increase the chances of maintaining recovery.

Your treatment process might include relationship reconciliation with family members or friends. You may also work through negative relationships and how to approach them after treatment. Building healthy relationships during and after treatment includes:

• Being honest about your feelings
• Disengaging from people who don’t respect your sobriety
• Clearly communicating thoughts and feelings
• Apologizing for past wrongs where appropriate
• Participating in support groups

You may have a lot of relationship issues to work through after treatment, and cutting out toxic relationships should be at the top of that list.

While in recovery, you may not have contact with family and friends. However, you’ll meet people who are in a similar situation to yours. Some of these relationships might continue after attending treatment.

Related Articles: Rebuilding Relationships In Recovery

How to Build Relationships After Inpatient Treatment

Your relationships might look different after treatment. People you used to hang out with may not be the best for you anymore. People who are toxic or who disrespect your mental health journey should be cut out or set within boundaries.

This is how to build healthy relationships after mental health treatment.

Related Articles: Repairing Relationships After Addiction

Respect Yourself

Building a healthy relationship with others can’t happen until you’ve built a healthy relationship with yourself. That means not blaming yourself, and instead looking for opportunities to grow after failure.

Negative self-talk won’t support your recovery. However, adopting positive self-talk and supporting yourself will support your mental health recovery.

Related Articles: How to Deal With Feeling Like a Failure

Look for Positive People

Positive relationships are hard to build with negative people. By surrounding yourself with positive people you’ll be more likely to build relationships that are supportive and helpful. This may be easier said than done. 

Set Boundaries

Even if you expect that someone is not toxic, it’s still a good idea to set healthy boundaries to protect yourself. This is especially important for romantic relationships. 

Think about what you are and are not willing to do with friends. That could include places you don’t want to go, people you don’t want to see, or times that are too late for you.

Related Article: How to Set Boundaries in Recovery 

Get to Building

Healthy relationships are work. Committing to building a healthy relationship means communicating your feelings openly, reaching out, and being honest. 

Inpatient Treatment and Outpatient Support

Sequoia Behavioral Health is a holistic mental health treatment facility in Mesa, Arizona that treats symptoms and root causes of mental health illness. 

When you attend our inpatient treatment program you’ll receive a customized program that’s built for your situation. As part of that program, you’ll gain insight and direction on how to deal with any toxic relationships you are experiencing.

Contact us to begin the admissions process.