Dependency and Codependency: Similarities and Differences

Relationships are central to all aspects of life. That’s why it’s important to build and maintain healthy relationships. How people build relationships can be affected by personality disorders and behavioral patterns.

In this article, we’ll break down codependency and dependency and compare how they are similar and different.

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a term that can be misunderstood very easily. It was originally used to describe the relationship with a person with substance use disorder. However, it’s also a negative personality trait.

Codependency is often referred to as an “addiction to a relationship”. However, it’s not a formal diagnosis or disorder. Instead, it’s a collection of problematic behaviors. 

A codependent person will do what they can to maintain relationships and please their partner, even if the relationship is detrimental to their well-being. These people are often in one-sided relationships that are marred with dynamic issues and have a high chance of abuse.

Causes of Codependency

How people relate to others is often developed in childhood but can develop and change in adulthood.

People who experience codependent behaviors have often experienced trauma of some kind:

• Attachment trauma
• Loving someone with an addiction
• Dysfunctional family

Family dynamics during childhood are important for the development of healthy attachments. Individuals who have lived through traumatic situations will likely develop problematic behaviors surrounding relationships.

Codependent Behaviors

Behaviors associated with codependency start with thought patterns:

• Fear of not being loved
• Feeling a need for validation
• Fear of being left

These thoughts will change how people behave in relationships.

• Not setting boundaries
• Taking on too much responsibility
• Getting involved in other relationships of the person

These behaviors are efforts to keep the relationship going. Codependent people will come across as insecure. They’ll be willing and want to take on more responsibility and give their all to the relationship.

Learn more about the causes and symptoms of codependency by reading our full resource.

Codependency Treatment

Codependency is developed due to trauma, which means there is usually something that needs to be processed. Trauma therapy is a great option for people struggling with codependency. You’ll work through the behaviors of codependency while searching for the root cause of those behaviors.

Family therapy can also be a helpful option. It helps people work through familial relationships, how they’ve affected them, and how to move forward.

‍Read our blog about treating codependency to learn more.

What is Dependent Personality Disorder?

Dependency is a reliance on someone or something else. It can be either a personality trait or a larger issue. Dependent personality disorder (DPD) can negatively affect someone’s life.

DPD is characterized by an excessive need to be taken care of. On the outside, people with DPD may just appear overly clingy. However, people with PDP will experience debilitating fear around decision-making, separation, and abandonment.

Causes of Dependent Personality Disorder

Dependent personality disorder is typically found in people who have experienced abuse and trauma. Childhood development is essential for establishing healthy bonds, boundaries, and attachments.

While childhood is formative in the creation of dependent personality disorder, it can also occur in adulthood.

Family dynamics can also play a role in developing DPD. Living in a home where reliance on authority is emphasized or children are rarely allowed to make decisions contributes to DPD.

Dependent Personality Disorder Symptoms

DPD manifests in specific ways. Much of the thoughts and behaviors of this personality disorder are steeped in anxiety and fear. The common symptoms of DPD include:

• Feeling unable to make even small decisions
• Dismissing important responsibilities
• Unable to initiate or complete tasks
• Moving to a new relationship quickly after one has ended
• Debilitating fear that they can’t take care of themself 

These symptoms make it nearly impossible for people to live independently. It can crush any dreams and trap people into a life they don’t want to live.

Dependency Treatment

While DPD and dependent behaviors can be debilitating, people can find freedom. There are robust treatment options available for people who are struggling with dependency in relationships.

• Psychodynamic Therapy: Identify deep-rooted emotions and thoughts to process them and take control of behaviors.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Find and adapt negative thoughts and emotions that are the source of unhealthy behaviors.
• Medication: Because DPD is accompanied by anxiety, anti anxiety medications can be used to help manage symptoms.
• Family Therapy: Family dynamics can contribute to DPD. Family therapy can help rebuild relationships and move past DPD.

Learn more about treating dependent behaviors and DPD.

Similarities Between Dependency and Codependency

Dependent personality disorder and codependency share a lot of similarities, including:

• Both are caused by trauma
• Both create anxiety about relationships
• Both can be treated with talk therapy
• Both are often a dual diagnosis with other mental health struggles

These two struggles both change the ways people relate to others and how they pursue relationships. They both revolve around keeping someone in their life.

Differences Between Codependency and Dependency

Dependency and codependency both lead to one-sided relationships where one person is a giver and one is a taker. The giver neglects their own needs in order to make their partner, friend, or family member happy. On the other hand, the taker puts their needs and wants above the other person’s.

The main difference between codependent behaviors and dependent behaviors is who these roles apply to. Someone who is codependent is the giver, while someone who is dependent is a taker.

Another way codependency and dependency are unique from each other is how diagnosable they are. Codependency and dependency both refer to patterns of behavior.

Ending Codependency and Dependency

At Sequoia Behavioral Health, we create individual treatment programs to help people overcome addiction and other mental health struggles. We take a holistic approach, we treat symptoms while looking for the root of the issues.

Our programs are extensive and allow people to recover in a safe environment. While here, you’ll work through past trauma while addressing problematic behaviors.

Contact Sequoia Behavioral Health to get all the information you need and start your recovery journey.